Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Nina's Wednesday Whispers Week 3

Hey my beauties how are you all doing :) 
Today is Week 3 of Wednesday Whispers but first of all i would love to say to the people who have written to me Thank you so much for placing your trust in me to come out with you situations and problems.  I know its very hard to trust people and im honoured you feel comfortable to talk to me.  I am so glad i have heard feedback from some of you too and the feedback has been great its so comforting :) 
This week i have one email to share with you all and boy oh boy i know for a fact some of you have either went through it or are going through it so some of you might relate to this :) 

Hi Nina, 

I started dating ''Tom'' about a year and a half ago now, We got together when my life was in a very different place,I was in college and life was free and easy. We would meet up occasionally and it very quickly went from friendship to relationship. ''Tom'' was rather inexperienced he had never been in a proper relationship and had not gone far with a girl before. I always feel like I am the more independent one like I could go a week without meeting up and be fine but he seems to get more clingy and misses me terribly, I wish i felt like that too. I feel like Im too experienced for him or something... 

A year and a half down the line the same issues I had at the beginning are now coming to head. Ive tried to tell him my feelings but Im so on the fence as to break up or continue on together. 
Before ''Tom'' I was the type of girl who would casually date with a few men at a time nothing serious just young romances and what not, I have lots of experience in dating so when ''Tom'' and 
I got together I found it hard because he was so nervous even just kissing me. I guess I enjoyed the challenge of winning him over and making him mine, Once I did the passion started to fade. We live in different counties so when we meet it is always in busy houses and we don't get 2 seconds alone. When I now kiss ''Tom'' I feel nothing at all. I try so hard to convince myself I feel something,but I dont. It really upsets me as to everyone else he seems like Mr perfect. To me though I need more than that prince charming type, I need someone who excites me and makes me feel excited to see them.

I dont know what to do, we have been together for so long that the friend side of our relationship is amazing,he is truly the best friend I have ever had and is always there for me during times of trouble. Im worried Ill continue on in this relationship probably end up in marriage and then be so stuck into it that there is no climbing out. On the other hand Im scared I will loose the best friend I ever had and if he then finds another girl my heart will be crushed. I just feel this emptiness and all I do is cry and cry.  I dont want to hurt him because I care about him but Im slowly feeling like Im giving up my happiness for his. 

Im sorry If this email dosent make a word of sense my head is so messed up I cant even think straight.
Any advice? 
Messed up!

Hey hunny First of all let me correct something......You are not messed up!!!! your are just confused.  Now its very simple for someone just to come out with a straight up answer in this situation but its not so easy when you are the one going through this.  
Girl my advice is straight up in this situations and the advice is YOU NEED TO END THIS.   Yours and his happiness is whats more Important here and you mentioned that everyone likes him blah blah yeah everyone likes him including yourself but your are the one going out with him.  Its sound to be you have put more than enough effort into trying to make this relationship work and it hasnt and you have become even more unhappy.  I know you dont want to break his heart because of the fact you were is "1st" but you will be breaking his heart even more staying with him as his feelings for you will get deeper and deeper and that would be even more cruel.  Just sit down with him and explain your both want different things.  Tell him you have enjoyed your time with him but would prefer if you both were friends instead.  You have a future to plan out and a life to live and the longer you are stuck in this dilemma the more life passes you by.  There is no easier way to end a relationship he will take it hard but he will get over it like everyone in the world does.  Let his friends know what's happened and let them help him get over the whole situation.  
I hope this helps you and the best of luck 

Short but sweet this time but if any of you are in that situation or something like it remember to take advantage of your friends talk to someone about how you feeling.  If you are in a relationship you are not happy in why stay there Stop worrying about what people think and how they will think of you if you end it after all they too will get over it after a week.  At the end of the day its your happiness thats more important!!!!! If your staying in a relationship to suit others its like your living a false life and thats a horrible feeling 
I hope you are all well 
Take Care and remember 
Email me with any questions before next Tuesday for next weeks Wednesdays Whispers 
Please could you all let me know what you think of Nina's Wednesday Whispers so far I would love some feedback from you 
Lots of Love Luck and Laughter :) 

*****UPDATE***** The person who wrote this email has since emailed me back saying She decided to end the relationship that even writing the email made her decide what to do and made things more clearer to her :) :) I wish her and her ex a happy & fulfilled future :)  

I love love love hearing from you all :) I make it my duty to read each and every one of you comments and every time i get a comment from you it highlights my day thanks so so much to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


makeupbysaz said...

Thats pretty awesome advice poor girl i can feel her pain! xx

Nina said...

Hopefully she is much happier now with that weight off her shoulders and hopefully in time her ex will be just as happy :)

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