Nina's Wednesday Whispers Week 3

Hey my beauties how are you all doing :) 

Today is Week 3 of Wednesday Whispers but first of all i would love to say to the people who have written to me Thank you so much for placing your trust in me to come out with you situations and problems.  I know its very hard to trust people and im honoured you feel comfortable to talk to me.  I am so glad i have heard feedback from some of you too and the feedback has been great its so comforting :) 

This week i have one email to share with you all and boy oh boy i know for a fact some of you have either went through it or are going through it so some of you might relate to this :) 

Hi Nina, 

I started dating ''Tom'' about a year and a half ago now, We got together when my life was in a very different place,I was in college and life was free and easy. We would meet up occasionally and it very quickly went from friendship to relationship. ''Tom'' was rather inexperienced he had never been in a proper relationship and had not gone far with a girl before. I always feel like I am the more independent one like I could go a week without meeting up and be fine but he seems to get more clingy and misses me terribly, I wish i felt like that too. I feel like Im too experienced for him or something... 

A year and a half down the line the same issues I had at the beginning are now coming to head. Ive tried to tell him my feelings but Im so on the fence as to break up or continue on together. 
Before ''Tom'' I was the type of girl who would casually date with a few men at a time nothing serious just young romances and what not, I have lots of experience in dating so when ''Tom'' and 
I got together I found it hard because he was so nervous even just kissing me. I guess I enjoyed the challenge of winning him over and making him mine, Once I did the passion started to fade. We live in different counties so when we meet it is always in busy houses and we don't get 2 seconds alone. When I now kiss ''Tom'' I feel nothing at all. I try so hard to convince myself I feel something,but I dont. It really upsets me as to everyone else he seems like Mr perfect. To me though I need more than that prince charming type, I need someone who excites me and makes me feel excited to see them.

I dont know what to do, we have been together for so long that the friend side of our relationship is amazing,he is truly the best friend I have ever had and is always there for me during times of trouble. Im worried Ill continue on in this relationship probably end up in marriage and then be so stuck into it that there is no climbing out. On the other hand Im scared I will loose the best friend I ever had and if he then finds another girl my heart will be crushed. I just feel this emptiness and all I do is cry and cry.  I dont want to hurt him because I care about him but Im slowly feeling like Im giving up my happiness for his. 

Im sorry If this email dosent make a word of sense my head is so messed up I cant even think straight.
Any advice? 
Yours, 
Messed up!

Hey hunny First of all let me correct something......You are not messed up!!!! your are just confused.  Now its very simple for someone just to come out with a straight up answer in this situation but its not so easy when you are the one going through this.  

Girl my advice is straight up in this situations and the advice is YOU NEED TO END THIS.   Yours and his happiness is whats more Important here and you mentioned that everyone likes him blah blah yeah everyone likes him including yourself but your are the one going out with him.  Its sound to be you have put more than enough effort into trying to make this relationship work and it hasnt and you have become even more unhappy.  I know you dont want to break his heart because of the fact you were is "1st" but you will be breaking his heart even more staying with him as his feelings for you will get deeper and deeper and that would be even more cruel.  Just sit down with him and explain your both want different things.  Tell him you have enjoyed your time with him but would prefer if you both were friends instead.  You have a future to plan out and a life to live and the longer you are stuck in this dilemma the more life passes you by.  There is no easier way to end a relationship he will take it hard but he will get over it like everyone in the world does.  Let his friends know what's happened and let them help him get over the whole situation.  

I hope this helps you and the best of luck 

Love 

Nina 

Short but sweet this time but if any of you are in that situation or something like it remember to take advantage of your friends talk to someone about how you feeling.  If you are in a relationship you are not happy in why stay there Stop worrying about what people think and how they will think of you if you end it after all they too will get over it after a week.  At the end of the day its your happiness thats more important!!!!! If your staying in a relationship to suit others its like your living a false life and thats a horrible feeling 

I hope you are all well 

Take Care and remember 

Email me with any questions before next Tuesday for next weeks Wednesdays Whispers 

Please could you all let me know what you think of Nina's Wednesday Whispers so far I would love some feedback from you 

Lots of Love Luck and Laughter :) 

*****UPDATE***** The person who wrote this email has since emailed me back saying She decided to end the relationship that even writing the email made her decide what to do and made things more clearer to her :) :) I wish her and her ex a happy & fulfilled future :)  

I love love love hearing from you all :) I make it my duty to read each and every one of you comments and every time i get a comment from you it highlights my day thanks so so much to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nina's Wednesday Whispers Week 1

Hey my beauties I hope you are all well 

Today is the First of my Wednesday Whisper's Advice Blog Post 

Thank you all so much for the great response of my idea to do this 

I am so excited to take this new journey and even more excited to get to know you all a little more through this.  

So far i have got 2 emails sent to me and of course I'm happy with this as i know alot of you out there find it hard to open up and trust someone you dont even know in person but its true what they say ITS ALOT EASIER TO OPEN UP TO THE PEOPLE YOUR DONT KNOW THAN THE PEOPLE YOU DO.  Hopefully as this blog post moves on a week or two you will see that i am only here to listen and give my advice.  

So time for my first email 

This person wishes for no personal details (in which i would never do anyway i would only released first name) to be mentioned 

Dear Nina My problem involves two men. One is the father of my little daughter the other is an ex i went out with when i was 17 long time ago. Well a few weeks ago me and my long term partner of 5 years broke up as things werent the same between us we were constantly arguing and ever since i had our daughter almost 3 yeas ago our relationship was going down hill.He stopped sleeping in the same bed as me and left me do everything he basically did nothing just played his xbox day in day out. I felt like i had to stay with him if only for the sake of our daughter but finally got the courage to leave him.This is were the ex comes in. I started talking to him on Facebook and from there we really hit if off he came to see me and we went from there.But now my daughters daddy has been calling alot and we seem to be getting on so well that im now actually starting to get feeling fo him all over again. I really dont know what to do. I know that if i stay with the fella im with now i will be happy but at the same time i want the other fella. Aggghhhhh its so confusing. HELP...


Oh my goodness girl i can only imagine what you are going through at the moment. CONFUSED.COM eh?  Well hunny this is a very sensitive situation you are in not only are you confused but you to see that your daughter will also be very confused.  Even though kiddies never say anything they feel and see everything.  
Ok first of all YOUR EX is YOUR EX FOR A REASON i dont know if he was your first love but obviously you will get yourself caught up in the time you had with him all those years ago and as you are in a confused situation you will let you mind and heart wonder simply because you at the moment are lonely as you have got used to having a man in your life.   You will be remembering the all the good times you had with your ex and in your own way want to go back to that time and this is why you are confused about him. 
As for the father of your child HUNNY HAVING A CHILD WITH ANYONE PUTS PRESSURE ON A RELATIONSHIP BELIEVE ME I KNOW THIS.  So whatever problems you had before you had your baby was pushed aside and not dealt with and that added onto more stress when your little girl was born.  Having a new baby changes everything in a relationship and if you are not open with each other of course things will get worse.  Maybe he feel a little pushed aside since baby was born which is not yours or his fault some men and women do feel this.  
What you need to do is take a little break from both men and sit down and actually think about what you want in the future.  
Dont feel you should go back to the father of your child for the sake of your child as that will leave things worse for all three of you.  Personally i think it would be no harm giving it another try but both of you need to WANT TO MAKE THIS WORK.  
THE KEY TO EVERY SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP IS TALKING TO EACH OTHER.  Dont shut each other out be truthful and honest and make sure when you have your chats cover everything.  
SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER:  This is healthy for you both as having kiddies makes us forget to take a break from them.  When with a partner we tend not to go out as much we find it easier to stay at home which in fact puts more of a downer in the relationship.  Im not saying go out every weekend but maybe a little more than you do :)  This also helps you communicate with each other more
If you decided to go back to the father of your child and it doesnt work out well at least you know your tried and that you worked hard on making a go of it and move on without any regrets 
I hope this bit of advice helps you along your way hunny I hope this is not too long to read lol i do find i get carried away talking :) 
The best of luck to you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.S: Please let me know what you decide and how things are :) :) 

Hi Nina 
I've a really great friend who I've known for years and we get on like a house on fire but she takes absolutely everything to heart. I always have to be so careful with what I say she gets very easily offended. I understand that is a part of her personality but it is difficult to deal with sometimes. The other night I had her over and she spent most of the night complaining, mostly about her bodily functions aka bowel movement etc.!, which I find pretty gross and just TMI. (She is convinced there is a medical reason behind it whereas I think a lot of it is stress and that she needs to just chill out.) I like that she feels comfortable to talk to me about anything..and I mean anything..but at the same time I don't need or want to know that level of detail. I'm totally open to discussing my friends problems but for me there is a cut off point when it gets a bit inappropriate. How can I tell her that without her feeling like I'm attacking her or being rude? 

Hey hunny I complete understand where your coming from here.  I think everyone has at lease one friend who annoys them in some way but to be honest no one is perfect.  You two sound like you are more sister like friends than normal friends which is great to have but sometimes not so great when it comes to issues like this.  
First of all you friends situation does sound like a stress issue.  I myself have that issue and its called IBS Irritable Bowl Syndrome (now im no doctor and i could be wrong) but by the way you explained in your email she maybe be suffering it which is caused by stress and diet mostly.  IBS is set off if you eat the wrong foods such as too much fibre, white bread etc.  There is lots of information on the net about it if you google it.  You should tell her that you been the great friend you are looking this up for her  and this is what may be causing her problems.  Then you should advice her to visit the doctor to either get this confirmed or check out what really is the issue.  
She really needs to know how you feel hunny and honesty is the best policy.  If she is as good a friend as you say she is and you are both as close well then she will understand how you feel.  If she decides to take this as an insult (in which you cant help) there is really nothing you can do about it.
At the end of the day if you continue to be annoyed about this and not say anything she will continue talking about it and continue to make you feel uncomfortable and that will eventually cause you annoyance to build up and some day you will BURST and maybe say things you dont mean and that could cause bigger issues or even an end to your friendship which is not worth it is it?? 
If i were you i would 100% just say it to her the next time she talks about that issue just tell her that you understand she is having a hard time going through but could she keep the details to a minimum (you are not asking for much) 
You Could even tell her if she is wants to chat to someone about it THAT NINA WILL LISTEN TO HER AND GIVE HER ADVICE :) :) 
I hope this helps you hunny and makes sense to you please let me know how you get on :) 

Now my beauties thats the last of this weeks Wednesday Whispers.  It ended up i only got 2 emails this week but it is the first week after all.  So that is the reason i wrote more in my answers this week :) :) 

I hope you enjoyed this weeks advice post.  I would love some feedback from you all about it :) :) 

If you feel you have an opinion about my answers feel free to express them :) 

Until the next Wednesday Whispers 

See you soon 

Dont forget email me with you questions 

dear-nina@hotmail.co.uk 

Lots of Love Luck and Laughter 

I love love love hearing from you all :) I make it my duty to read each and every one of you comments and every time i get a comment from you it highlights my day thanks so so much to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nina's Wednesday Whispers

Hey my beauties how are you all doing :) 

If you follow me on facebook you will know what this blog post is about as i put the idea of this up on facebook and asked you all what you thought of my new blog post for Wednesdays.  I got great reception from alot of you saying you thought it was a great idea.  

Well incase you missed that i will tell you now. 

Since starting up my facebook and blog page i have got to know alot of lovely people and to be honest ended up having heart to heart chats about life in general as well as what i blog about of course and i have found people coming back to me thanking me for advice i have given them etc.  I have had suggestions to start up some sort of advice thing (as it was stated) I sort of put it off as i thought it might not work out but its been on my mind alot.  

I am at the age now that i can safely say i have experienced alot in my life and i mean ALOT.  Alot of good and alot bad but to be honest instead of wishing i never went through the bad i am sort of thankful after all i have learned alot from experience bad experiences and feel i have become a stronger and better person.  Now im in no way saying im a professional councilor but i can safely say that i have been told by many that i give good advice and that i make alot of sense.  

So here i am today announcing that i am official starting up an advice blog post especially for you all out there.  This advice post can be about anything at all beauty related, boy troubles, advice about children, basically anything at all ANYTHING.  All you gotta do is email me at

dear-nina@hotmail.co.uk 

I will pick out some emails every week and post them here with my advice/answers.  If your email is not chosen please do not be disheartened simply email me again and i will surely answer the following week.  I was even thinking if it gets to a stage where i get alot of emails every week i will this up on my youtube channel once a week so i can get round all of them.  We will see :) 

Now please be reassured that every email to me is private and confidential and if you do not wish for me to post your questions up on my blog just let me know in your email and i will simple just write back to you via email with my advice if i can answer you :) :) If you are happy with me posting your question but wish to keep your name ssshhhhhhh i will happily do that too.  I was never going to put your full name up but only your first name thats why i want you to let me know if thats ok or not.  

So starting today i hope this will be a hit as i love chatting and giving advice to people.  I love to offer my shoulder to people to cry on or simply be there to listen and I am for all of you :) 

I hope to hear from you all soon 

Dont forget email me on 

dear-nina@hotmail.co.uk 

This email is set up just for this blog post :) 

I am really looking forward to hearing from you all and looking forward to my 1st official Wednesday Whispers next week :) 

Thanks to everyone on facebook who participated of voting the name of this all important new blog post for me 

The winning vote was obviously 

Nina's Wednesday Whispers :) I love it 

See and hear from you soon 

I love love love hearing from you all :) I make it my duty to read each and every one of you comments and every time i get a comment from you it highlights my day thanks so so much to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx